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* Add $FreeBSD$ to limerick and zippy

Browse source 
* Delete trailing white space in all its forms. In addition to being
bad style in general, it also causes formatting, and other problems
for various third party items (like xscreensaver) which use fortunes
for their own purposes.
This commit is contained in:
Doug Barton 2002-04-28 21:59:07 +00:00
parent 3ee16cca88
commit b564d8acf1
8 changed files with 753 additions and 751 deletions
Show stats Download patch file Download diff file Expand all files Collapse all files

54
games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
View file

@ -233,7 +233,7 @@ There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- National Lampoon
%
Double Bucky
(Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie")
(Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie")
Double bucky, you're the one!
You make my keyboard lots of fun
@ -880,11 +880,11 @@ icepacks.
%
Love's Drug
My love is like an iron wand
My love is like an iron wand
That conks me on the head,
My love is like the valium
My love is like the valium
That I take before my bed,
My love is like the pint of scotch
My love is like the pint of scotch
That I drink when I be dry;
And I shall love thee still, my dear,
Until my wife is wise.
@ -1612,15 +1612,15 @@ Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.
(2) Nothing is always.
(3) Everything is sometimes.
%
100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FE buckets of bits on the bus
FE buckets of bits on the bus
ad infinitum...
%
@ -2083,7 +2083,7 @@ A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
%
A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
@ -2471,7 +2471,7 @@ still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise
to commit.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%
Ah, but the choice of dreams to live,
Ah, but the choice of dreams to live,
there's the rub.
For all dreams are not equal,
@ -3406,7 +3406,7 @@ lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
@ -3509,7 +3509,7 @@ vividly manifests their lack of progress.
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine:
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
%
BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH!
BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH!
%
Boob's Law:
You always find something in the last place you look.
@ -4060,7 +4060,7 @@ Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."
-- Blair Houghton
%
Coincidence, n.:
Coincidence, n.:
You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was
going on.
%
@ -6602,7 +6602,7 @@ Dayton?
How to become a sysop:
I grew a beard, started wearing only t-shirts and jeans, and
developed a surly attitude. The group accepted me, and I've never
worked a full day in my life since then.
worked a full day in my life since then.
-- rho/slashdot
%
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
@ -6959,7 +6959,7 @@ of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry."
%
I have learned
To spell hors d'oeuvres
Which still grates on
Which still grates on
Some people's n'oeuvres.
-- Warren Knox
%
@ -7810,7 +7810,7 @@ the sucker.
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
%
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
Or some joker who is slicker,
Will trick you of your liquor,
If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
@ -8265,7 +8265,7 @@ from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long.
... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such
wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of
fact.
-- Mark Twain
-- Mark Twain
%
In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to
drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at
@ -9052,7 +9052,7 @@ Last yeer I kudn't spel Engineer. Now I are won.
%
Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
%
"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
%
Law of Communications:
@ -9378,7 +9378,7 @@ Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
-- Ogden Nash
%
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with
the ideal never goes unpunished."
-- Goethe
%
@ -10424,7 +10424,7 @@ smurfette."
"Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile."
-- Karl Lehenbauer
%
"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of
"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of
normal routines, for children and adults alike."
-- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"
%
@ -11261,7 +11261,7 @@ Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.
(2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.
(3) This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd number of
legs for a horse.
(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity.
(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity.
(5) Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.
Topics to be covered in future issues include proof by:
@ -11726,7 +11726,7 @@ tempest of words.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system?
SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that
the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can
carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away."
@ -12685,7 +12685,7 @@ The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper
-- Thomas Jefferson
%
The Advertising Agency Song:
When your client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory,
@ -14668,7 +14668,7 @@ And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"
%
"Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new
cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more
cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more
spectacular adventure starring ... Tippy, the Wonder Dog."
-- Bob & Ray
%
@ -15598,7 +15598,7 @@ When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry Truman
%
"When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite."
"When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite."
-- Winston Churchill, On formal declarations of war
%
When you know absolutely nothing about the topic, make your forecast by
@ -15982,7 +15982,7 @@ will notice.
%
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
%
You are here:
You are here:
***
***
*********
@ -16099,7 +16099,7 @@ pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear
safety glasses.
-- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"
%
"You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
"You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on."
-- Hepler, Systems Design 182
%

4
games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
View file

@ -1790,7 +1790,7 @@ Did groove and trip out at the pad: The Radcliffe girl, no idle flirt,
All whimsy were the slamming chicks, Crept past the hippies getting balled
And the Radcliffe undergrad. And doffed her miniskirt.
"Beware the Radcliffe girl, my son! One, two! One, two! And through
"Beware the Radcliffe girl, my son! One, two! One, two! And through
The looks that melt, the claws that and through
catch! The venerable staff went snicker-snack!
Beware the Byrn Mawr deb, and shun He left her bred, sans maidenhead,
@ -1801,7 +1801,7 @@ Long time the cool young stuff he Come to my arms, my horny boy!
sought -- O spaced-out day! Calooh! Callay!"
So rested he among the spree He cackled in his joy.
And paused to smoke some pot.
'Twas orgy, and the hip and mod
'Twas orgy, and the hip and mod
Did groove and trip out at the pad:
All whimsy were the slamming chicks,
And the Radcliffe undergrad.

794
games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
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File diff suppressed because it is too large Load diff

482
games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
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File diff suppressed because it is too large Load diff

128
games/fortune/datfiles/freebsd-tips
View file

@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ Simple tcsh prompt: set prompt = '%# '
%
If you want df(1) and other commands to display disk sizes in
kilobytes instead of 512-byte blocks, set BLOCKSIZE in your
environment to 'K'. You can also use 'M' for Megabytes or 'G' for
environment to 'K'. You can also use 'M' for Megabytes or 'G' for
Gigabytes. If you want df(1) to automatically select the best size
then use 'df -h'.
%
@ -295,9 +295,9 @@ install it by doing
as root. This will install a collection of packages that is appropriate for
running a "generic" server.
%
You can make a log of your terminal session with script(1).
You can make a log of your terminal session with script(1).
%
"man ports" gives many useful hints about installing FreeBSD ports.
"man ports" gives many useful hints about installing FreeBSD ports.
%
"man security" gives very good advice on how to tune the security of your
FreeBSD system.
@ -312,158 +312,158 @@ or one its subdirectories:
Want to see how much virtual memory you're using? Just type "swapinfo" to
be shown information about the usage of your swap partitions.
%
ports/net/netcat port is useful not only for redirecting input/output
to TCP or UDP connections, but also for proxying them. See inetd(8) for
details.
ports/net/netcat port is useful not only for redirecting input/output
to TCP or UDP connections, but also for proxying them. See inetd(8) for
details.
%
If other operating systems have damaged your Master Boot Record, you can
reinstall it either with /stand/sysinstall or with boot0cfg(8). See
If other operating systems have damaged your Master Boot Record, you can
reinstall it either with /stand/sysinstall or with boot0cfg(8). See
"man boot0cfg" for details.
%
Need to see the calendar for this month? Simply type "cal". To see the
whole year, type "cal 2002".
Need to see the calendar for this month? Simply type "cal". To see the
whole year, type "cal 2002".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to quickly return to your home directory? Type "cd".
Need to quickly return to your home directory? Type "cd".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see the last time that you logged in, use lastlogin(8).
To see the last time that you logged in, use lastlogin(8).
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To clear the screen, use "clear". To re-display your screen buffer, press
the scroll lock key and use your page up button. When you're finished,
press the scroll lock key again to get your prompt back.
To clear the screen, use "clear". To re-display your screen buffer, press
the scroll lock key and use your page up button. When you're finished,
press the scroll lock key again to get your prompt back.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To save disk space in your home directory, can compress files you
rarely use with "gzip filename".
To save disk space in your home directory, can compress files you
rarely use with "gzip filename".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To read a compressed file without having to first uncompress it, use
"zcat" or "zmore" to view it.
To read a compressed file without having to first uncompress it, use
"zcat" or "zmore" to view it.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see how much disk space is left on your partitions, use
To see how much disk space is left on your partitions, use
df -h
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see the 10 largest files on a directory or partition, use
To see the 10 largest files on a directory or partition, use
du /partition_or_directory_name | sort -rn | head
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To determine whether a file is a text file, executable, or some other type
of file, use
To determine whether a file is a text file, executable, or some other type
of file, use
file filename
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Time to change your password? Type "passwd" and follow the prompts.
Time to change your password? Type "passwd" and follow the prompts.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Want to know how many words, lines, or bytes are contained in a file? Type
"wc filename".
Want to know how many words, lines, or bytes are contained in a file? Type
"wc filename".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to print a manpage? Use
Need to print a manpage? Use
man name_of_manpage | col -bx | lpr
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to remove all those ^M characters from a DOS file? Try
Need to remove all those ^M characters from a DOS file? Try
col -bx < dosfile > newfile
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Forget what directory you are in? Type "pwd".
Forget what directory you are in? Type "pwd".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
If you are in the C shell and have just installed a new program, you won't
be able to run it unless you first type "rehash".
If you are in the C shell and have just installed a new program, you won't
be able to run it unless you first type "rehash".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to leave your terminal for a few minutes and don't want to logout?
Use "lock -p". When you return, use your password as the key to unlock the
terminal.
Need to leave your terminal for a few minutes and don't want to logout?
Use "lock -p". When you return, use your password as the key to unlock the
terminal.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to find the location of a program? Use "locate program_name".
Need to find the location of a program? Use "locate program_name".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Forget how to spell a word or a variation of a word? Use
Forget how to spell a word or a variation of a word? Use
look portion_of_word_you_know
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see the last 10 lines of a long file, use "tail filename". To see the
first 10 lines, use "head filename".
To see the last 10 lines of a long file, use "tail filename". To see the
first 10 lines, use "head filename".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see how long it takes a command to run, type the word "time" before the
command name.
To see how long it takes a command to run, type the word "time" before the
command name.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To quickly create an empty file, use "touch filename".
To quickly create an empty file, use "touch filename".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To find out the hostname associated with an IP address, use
To find out the hostname associated with an IP address, use
dig -x IP_address
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
If you use the C shell, add the following line to the .cshrc file in your
home directory to prevent core files from being written to disk:
If you use the C shell, add the following line to the .cshrc file in your
home directory to prevent core files from being written to disk:
limit coredumpsize 0
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
If you need a reminder to leave your terminal, type "leave hhmm" where
"hhmm" represents in how many hours and minutes you need to leave.
If you need a reminder to leave your terminal, type "leave hhmm" where
"hhmm" represents in how many hours and minutes you need to leave.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to do a search in a manpage or in a file you've sent to a pager? Use
"/search_word". To repeat the same search, type "n" for next.
Need to do a search in a manpage or in a file you've sent to a pager? Use
"/search_word". To repeat the same search, type "n" for next.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Forget when Easter is? Try "ncal -e". If you need the date for Orthodox
Easter, use "ncal -o" instead.
Forget when Easter is? Try "ncal -e". If you need the date for Orthodox
Easter, use "ncal -o" instead.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to see your routing table? Type "netstat -rn". The entry with the G
flag is your gateway.
Need to see your routing table? Type "netstat -rn". The entry with the G
flag is your gateway.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to see which daemons are listening for connection requests? Use
"sockstat -4l" for IPv4, and "sockstat -l" for IPv4 and IPv6.
Need to see which daemons are listening for connection requests? Use
"sockstat -4l" for IPv4, and "sockstat -l" for IPv4 and IPv6.
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Can't remember is you've installed a certain port or not? Try "pkg_info |
grep port_name".
Can't remember is you've installed a certain port or not? Try "pkg_info |
grep port_name".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Got some time to kill? Try typing "hangman".
Got some time to kill? Try typing "hangman".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To erase a line you've written at the command prompt, use "Ctrl-U".
To erase a line you've written at the command prompt, use "Ctrl-U".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To repeat the last command in the C shell, type "!!".
To repeat the last command in the C shell, type "!!".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
Need to quickly empty a file? Use "echo > filename".
Need to quickly empty a file? Use "echo > filename".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see all of the directories on your FreeBSD system, type
To see all of the directories on your FreeBSD system, type
ls -R / | more
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see the IP addresses currently set on your active interfaces, type
"ifconfig -u".
To see the IP addresses currently set on your active interfaces, type
"ifconfig -u".
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>
%
To see the MAC addresses of the NICs on your system, type
To see the MAC addresses of the NICs on your system, type
ifconfig -a
-- Dru <genesis@istar.ca>

18
games/fortune/datfiles/gerrold.limerick
View file

@ -3,10 +3,10 @@
%% Copyright David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all rights reserved,
%% used with permission of the author.
%%
%%© This is the copyright line.
%%Eighty-nine is the year we assign.
%% These verses are caroled
%% by one David Gerrold.
%%© This is the copyright line.
%%Eighty-nine is the year we assign.
%% These verses are caroled
%% by one David Gerrold.
%%All rights are reserved. This is mine. *
%%
A limerick of classic proportion
@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ rights reserved, used with permission of the author.
%
A limerick is best when it's lewd,
gross, titillating and crude --
but this one is clean,
but this one is clean,
unless you are seen
reading it aloud in the nude.
@ -28,17 +28,17 @@ From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all
rights reserved, used with permission of the author.
%
I wanted to print here a medley
of limericks so gross they were deadly,
of limericks so gross they were deadly,
but when the typesetter tried
to set them, he died;
(not to mention my editor, Smedly.)
(not to mention my editor, Smedly.)
From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all
rights reserved, used with permission of the author.
%
I have written some limericks quite fateful,
I have written some limericks quite fateful,
malicious and vicious and hateful;
but I've torn up the jokes
but I've torn up the jokes
that will sicken most folks,
and humanity ought to be grateful.

21
games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
View file

@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
%% $FreeBSD$
A bad little girl in Madrid,
A most reprehensible kid,
Told her Tante Louise
@ -436,7 +437,7 @@ And two gave them epileptic attacks.
%
A graduate student named Zac
Was said to be great in the sack.
An inch of his boner
An inch of his boner
Put girls in a coma
And two gave them epileptic attacks.
%
@ -1265,7 +1266,7 @@ She used it for many a bunt.
But the unlucky wench
Got it caught in her trench ---
It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
To get the thing out of her cunt.
To get the thing out of her cunt.
%
A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blond to his yacht.
@ -1920,7 +1921,7 @@ The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.
Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.
-- Morris Bishop
%
The old archeologist, Throstle,
@ -2593,7 +2594,7 @@ There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
That in spite of high station,
Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.
%
There was a gay dog from Ontario
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
@ -3384,7 +3385,7 @@ Who filled her vagina with glue.
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too."
%
There was a young harlot named Schwartz
There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
And they tickled so nice
She drew a high price
@ -3921,7 +3922,7 @@ There was a young lady of Gaza
Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor.
The crabs, in a lump,
Made tracks to her rump -
This passing parade did amaze her.
This passing parade did amaze her.
%
There was a young lady of Gaza
Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor.
@ -4047,7 +4048,7 @@ There was a young lass from Surat.
The cheeks of her ass were so fat
That they had to be parted
Whenever she farted,
And also whenever she shat.
And also whenever she shat.
%
There was a young laundress named Wrangle
Whose tits tilted up at an angle.
@ -4990,7 +4991,7 @@ There was an old man with a beard
Who said, "It is just what I feared!
Two owls and a hen,
Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
%
There was an old person of Ware
Who had an affair with a bear.
@ -5148,7 +5149,7 @@ They had come in the fugue to the stretto
When a dark, bearded man from a ghetto
Slipped forward and grabbed
Her tresses and stabbed
Her to death with a rusty stiletto.
Her to death with a rusty stiletto.
-- Edward Gorey
%
Though his plan, when he gave her a buzz,
@ -5184,7 +5185,7 @@ I think they have rotted the drums."
%
To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable.
Their fertility was somewhat unstable.
He constructed a bed
He constructed a bed
Out of tree trunks and said,
"Even adders can multiply on a log table."
%

3
games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
View file

@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
%% $FreeBSD$
A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!
%
A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!
@ -803,7 +804,7 @@ Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE --
%
MERYL STREEP is my obstetrician!
%
MMM-MM!! So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!
MMM-MM!! So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!
%
Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with the
shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!! ... Oh BOY!! I'm about to swallow a